1/29/2010, Do I need Al-Anon?

Today started out FANTASTIC, I was in the best mood, full of positive energy. Work went very well, I actually enjoyed every moment of if and you could tell that the Residents noticed my energy also. It was just a great morning/afternoon.


Around 5:00pm tonight I went into the downstairs bathroom and for some reason I looked in the cabinet and found a plastic McDonalds cup with Whiskey and diet coke in it along with a cup that smelled like it also. Not knowing what to do I just sat the cups on the counter so my Husband would know that I found it. Damn it! I am so upset, we had an agreement before I came home that there would be no liquor in the house and on the property and he would not be drinking in the house. When I smelt the glass it triggered me, I sat there and thought “well if he’s drinking and hiding it so can I” (the wonderful “slick” talking in my head). I am so upset that he brought liquor in the house and that he hiding it also. It makes me feel like he is not supportive of my sobriety. To top it off I also found a bottle in his car. I’ve only been home for 3 weeks and he does this, I am so frustrated I don’t even know what to do.

Well on a happier note I had my 30 medallion ceremony tonight (it’s actually been more then 30 days, but they do the ceremonies and the end of each month). It went really well, we had two speakers and tons of food. I didn’t say much when I got mine because I get completely scared in front of a large group of people…lol. A lot of people brought family and friends and it was nice to see that they had support. Unfortunately I didn’t have anyone there for me other then the AA members. I was kind of having a pity party about it, with what happened earlier with hubby and no one at the ceremony it just really made me sad. I didn’t know you could bring people so in fairness I can’t be mad at hubby for not being there. Well I am going to try and deal with all these negative feelings and get a goodnights sleep.

Gratitude:

The residents @ work.

The fellowship

My children

God