Thursday, March 11, 2010



So it has been awhile since I have written. A LOT has happened. After a lot of fighting with Hazelden and the Insurance company I finally got them to say Hubby could go into treatment. The Monday he was suppose to go in they told us we had to come up with $10,000.00, which I new wasn’t right, but with my persistence everything turned out good. So as of today hubby has been at Hazelden for 8 days. The first few he was having a pretty emotional time but now he seems to be doing well. The girls and I went and visited him on Sunday and he looked good. It was really weird walking around there, almost felt like I hadn’t left treatment.

I have been having good and bad days, Thank God for my AA meetings or I don’t know what I would do. A few days ago I had a huge emotional breakdown (I think all the stress from everything the last month caught up to me). I did have an urge to drink, but I didn’t. It’s strange how 3 months ago I would’ve ran to the liquor store with no thought and now I know the consequences of what will happen if I do.
Between work, outpatient, AA and the girls I feel like I have no time, I have to work tomorrow, sat & sun and I just feel like quitting my job, I hate my hours, don’t get me wrong I like my job I just hate getting up so early. I had asked hubby’s mom to come keep an eye on the girls this weekend, but I am reconsidering it. I want to be able to trust the girls and not worry about them but they always seem to be doing things they shouldn’t even when I am around. Who knows, I guess I will pray for guidance on that subject.

Well I am going to sit and veg out for 2 hours before going to bed.

busy busy


Oh, I am so exhausted, the last two days I have been so busy trying to set up everything for hubby to go to treatment and last night for some darn reason I couldn’t fall asleep then at 1:30am I got the hiccups and was up till 2:30am, got up at 6:30am and been up since. I am really looking forward to going to bed tonight, but not looking forward to getting up at 4:30am.

I also went down to the county to see if we could get some sort of financial assistants and to my surprise we do qualify for some, so I finally went grocery shopping. We now have enough food for the week, so that is one less thing to worry about. Now just waiting to see if we can get discounted School lunches for the girls. Normally I would feel like a failure asking for this sort of help, but I’m sure this is temporary and that’s what it’s for.

Tomorrow I have my medallion ceremony so I have that to look forward to. I of course will be doing all the packing for hubby and finishing getting everything together. He is busy trying to get all his business stuff done before he goes. Which today he decided he wasn’t going to go till Tuesday, I’m not thrilled with that, but I know if I push to hard he won’t go.

Well going to sit and relax before my laundry is done and have to cook supper.