persistence

3/11/2010




So it has been awhile since I have written. A LOT has happened. After a lot of fighting with Hazelden and the Insurance company I finally got them to say Hubby could go into treatment. The Monday he was suppose to go in they told us we had to come up with $10,000.00, which I new wasn’t right, but with my persistence everything turned out good. So as of today hubby has been at Hazelden for 8 days. The first few he was having a pretty emotional time but now he seems to be doing well. The girls and I went and visited him on Sunday and he looked good. It was really weird walking around there, almost felt like I hadn’t left treatment.

I have been having good and bad days, Thank God for my AA meetings or I don’t know what I would do. A few days ago I had a huge emotional breakdown (I think all the stress from everything the last month caught up to me). I did have an urge to drink, but I didn’t. It’s strange how 3 months ago I would’ve ran to the liquor store with no thought and now I know the consequences of what will happen if I do.
Between work, outpatient, AA and the girls I feel like I have no time, I have to work tomorrow, sat & sun and I just feel like quitting my job, I hate my hours, don’t get me wrong I like my job I just hate getting up so early. I had asked hubby’s mom to come keep an eye on the girls this weekend, but I am reconsidering it. I want to be able to trust the girls and not worry about them but they always seem to be doing things they shouldn’t even when I am around. Who knows, I guess I will pray for guidance on that subject.

Well I am going to sit and veg out for 2 hours before going to bed.

busy busy

2/25/2010




Oh, I am so exhausted, the last two days I have been so busy trying to set up everything for hubby to go to treatment and last night for some darn reason I couldn’t fall asleep then at 1:30am I got the hiccups and was up till 2:30am, got up at 6:30am and been up since. I am really looking forward to going to bed tonight, but not looking forward to getting up at 4:30am.

I also went down to the county to see if we could get some sort of financial assistants and to my surprise we do qualify for some, so I finally went grocery shopping. We now have enough food for the week, so that is one less thing to worry about. Now just waiting to see if we can get discounted School lunches for the girls. Normally I would feel like a failure asking for this sort of help, but I’m sure this is temporary and that’s what it’s for.

Tomorrow I have my medallion ceremony so I have that to look forward to. I of course will be doing all the packing for hubby and finishing getting everything together. He is busy trying to get all his business stuff done before he goes. Which today he decided he wasn’t going to go till Tuesday, I’m not thrilled with that, but I know if I push to hard he won’t go.

Well going to sit and relax before my laundry is done and have to cook supper.

2/10/2010, 60 days Sober

I honostly can say I am pooped, I am starting to think I am to old for my job. We had 2 other aides on the floor that don't normally work in that unit so I basically felt like I was working by myself. I'm really starting to consider finding a different job.

The last few days have been really challenging for me, I don't know if it's from everything that's been going on over the last week in a half. But lastnight I had a complete meltdown. I litterly was having a crying fit because I wanted to drink so bad. I tried talking to a girl from my outpatient and then finally I told hubby that I needed to go to an AA meeting. I new there was one close by so I attempted to go to it, when I got there I couldn't find it and by then my urges had mellowed down a bit, so I opted to go grocery shopping. Which helped.

Tonight I had a good AA meeting, plus I have 60 days of sobriety today..YAY, have to say I am proud of myself. I drank to much coffee so I am hoping I can get to bed somewhat early, doubt it.
Tomorrow I am planning on skipping my IOP and get stuff done. I am still typing up all my journel entries from treatment so Ican post them on the blog. Well off to bed.

2/6/2010, Yummy Redlobster

I was so hoping to sleep in today since I didn’t have to work, but was up at 6:30am wide awake, around 7:30am my old roomate from Hazelden called me. She sounds like she is doing very good, other than going nuts while she temporarly has to stay with her father.


I went to lunch with the Inlaws today. I ordered a Tilapia wood grilled entrée and I honostly have to say I was happily surprised and how good it was, I ate evrything on the plate and my sister inlaw made the comment that I didn’t have to clean my plate..lol…I guess I get that from Hazelden, they have pretty good food there, I discovered cus cus there, my new favorite starch. Our conversations went pretty good, I can totally see the lack of knowledge in his mother though when it comes to alcoholism, she made the comment that you can’t let the liqour control you, you have to control the liqour. I just wanted to bust out laughing and say, well when you’re an alcoholic you really don’t have that option. I didn’t ofcourse, she meant well. All in all it was nice to see them and I enjoyed it.

I got home around 4pm and since then really haven’t done anything, the girls are down in the basement playing rockband and hubby decided to go over to a neighbors, the neighbor he’s at is someone who while I was in treatment came up a lot, he is an alcoholic also, someone who we would regulary drink with. Throughout the last 2 years here, him and I have had several fueds. He’s the type of person who only see’s situations as black and white and when he drinks he flat out lies about stuff. Oh and the typical neighbor stuff like his kid does no wrong and my kids do. So needless to say I have some issues with him. Well hubby is over there and I am sure he is drinking, it’s 8pm now, so we’ll see when he gets home. Does this bother me knowing he’s over there drinking? umm I guess a little, not him drinking, just the social aspect of it and wondering if he’s bitching about me to him of all people. I guess it’s something that worrying about it won’t help. Though after checking online I did see that hubby did purchace a bottle tonight (all I have to say is it better not show up on our property).

I was sapose to go to the Mall of America to meet my sister, she’s getting married in August and I am the maid of honor. We were going to look for dresses but something came up so we will do it another time. So my new plan is to work on my Valentines cards, blog and clean…fun fun

Gratitude:

Sister in Law

Health

My dog

My friendships from Hazelden

Family

God

Well it’s 9:17pm, he’s still not back yet, kids are quiet so I am going to have a smoke then see if anything good is on TV.. Night

2/4/2010, 53 days sober!!!

Today has all around been a good day. I am just tired, seems like everyday, if it’s not work it’s 3 days of outpatient and then 3 AA meetings a week. I sapose it’s good I am busy, but I would just like to sit and have a day to do nothing. I do have Sat. off so I am meeting Hubby’s sister and Mother at RedLobster for lunch (haven’t eaten there in years). So Sunday is my only day off, I’ll probably spend it cleaning and then it’s the next 14 days without a day to do nothing.


Been struggeling with some finaqcial issues at home, Mortgage went into forclosure while I was in treatment, but we have managed to pay it up to date (Only to get behind again). Ton’s of bills from when daughter was hospitalized for seven day right befor I went to treatment and now the bills from treatment. I can choose to get really upset about it all, but am realizing there is not much I can do about it. Stressing won’t help so I am triing to think of some creative ways to deal with it all. Getting tired and have to work in the morning.

Gratitude:

fellowship

Kindness from AA members

Friendships

Health

Family

OH, I’m 53 days SOBER !!!!!!!! yay

2/2/2010, Repitition

Oh am I full! I actually managed to get a good amount of food in me today. As far as Hubby goes, I am still not sure. But for some reason I feel as if a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I have done some much praying this week God is probably tired of hearing from me..lol

I had outpatient today and it was very unproductive and not organized, I am doing stuff I already did in treatment and the whole program doesn’t seem very serious. I feel like I am sitting in a room for 3 hours doing nothing, but I do enjoy getting some of my frustrations at home out. I also go to AA there on Thursday mornings, so it’s a nice change from my home AA group. I guess it helps.

I have to work tomorrow so I will be going to bed early (4:30am just comes to fast).

Gratitude:

AA, Health, family, friends, God & sobriety

I hope for a positive and productive day tomorrow and am really looking forward to AA, after the beginning of this week I really need it.

Goals I would like to work on:

look into buisness classes.

be sober another 24 hrs.

Ask at work about Activities Program director/assistant credentials needed.

2/1/2010, Another emotional day

Well another emotional day. I sent an email to hubby’s sister telling her I was concerned about his drinking and needed some advice. Normally I wouldn’t involve his family but she knows him pretty well. She called me around 7:30 am and I explained everything to her and told her I was debating on asking him to leave the house and decide whether he wants to live in a sober house or not. She was of so much help and I was happy to hear that I wasn’t the only one that felt that he can be selfish (if that’s the right word). He has a tendency of only really doing things if it benefits himself , making a situation about him and his wants and needs, not anyone else’s. He’s not always like that, but a majority of the time he is. She suggested that I talk to my other resources and see what they have to say before talking to him, so I talked to my counselor at outpatient and my peers and they thought I wasn’t asking to much of him by doing that.


Well at 5:30pm I approached hubby about the whole drinking situation, how I felt, how it’s affecting the children and just the general of the topic and the beginning of the conversation turned out to be him blowing up at me, saying I was the reason he was doing this in so many words, that I am not there for him emotionally & physically. I didn’t argue with him, since I know that I have been withdrawn since being back from treatment, though knowing he is using all of that as an excuse and pointing the blame to me. The one thing he has yet to get is that several things in the past that he has done to me (long story, but I think he has a some sort of sexual addiction problem also, maybe I’ll get into that some other time). As a result of these things it has affected my sense of safety emotionally and my trust, so opening up and letting him in scares me because every time I do I seem to get hurt. OK getting off the subject a bit. Well I also told him that I was planning on asking him to leave and he just kind of looked at me. He did say he was sorry and wouldn’t bring liquor in the house or drink in the house, but if he wanted to go out and have a drink he was going to. Towards the end of the conversation he started to get a little snide and rude with his comments and ended the conversation by say “well when you figure out what you want to do get back to me”.

I really don’t feel that the conversation accomplished a lot. I guess I have some searching to do, I just wish I could get through to him, though I know I can’t fix him. I am concerned about his health, he managed to drink almost a whole liter of whiskey between sat & sun night. This is so messing with my sobriety & my program. The last 5 days I have been so focused on this I haven’t been doing my steps, readings and let alone eating or sleeping good. I haven’t worked on my blogs, couponing etc. Things just aren’t getting done.

1/31/2010, Just at a Loss!

Things today really haven’t gotten any better. Yesterday my 11 yr. old came up to me and said she had something to tell me about Daddy but wasn’t sure if she should or not. I told her I probably already new what it was and she said “ I found a bottle in the garage, so I hid it. Dad told us he was sober and I don’t want him to drink again and that’s why I hid it”. It just broke my heart that this little girl has put this burden on herself, so I told her that “she can’t make him quit, he has to decide to quit on his own. That she didn’t do anything wrong”.


Around 4pm yesterday hubby came into the room and asked me what was wrong (after yesterday and today of me seeming pretty mad and leaving those glasses out for him to see). I finally said “ You haven’t figured out why I’m upset?” and he said he had no clue, so I told him” I was mad that he has been drinking in the house and hiding bottles in the garage”. His response was to leave the room and not say anything. I feel like I am going to blow up! oh and here’s the kicker, about 2 hours later I told him that our daughter hid his bottle and her reasoning for it, instead of any remorse he gets mad at her and tells her he’s mad because she interfered. I feel so bad for her, she didn’t do anything wrong. I pulled her aside and reassured her she didn’t do anything wrong and I was proud of her honesty. She seemed pretty ok with it, but I’m sure inside she’s got a lot going on. When I first told her I was going to Hazelden she was very upset, very supportive but I suppose she was scared that I was leaving her and now I’m sure those thoughts could be running through her head about her dad also. Her and her sister have been through enough for goodness sake. OK back to the “kicker”, around 8pm last night he said he was going out to get something to eat, I had a suspicious feeling he was going to go to the liquor store, so I hopped online and sure as shit he bought another bottle. What the hell is he thinking after everything that has happened. Besides how the kids are feeling I feel like he has no respect for my sobriety, feelings and wishes. I just don’t know what to do, I know I am pissed and hurt though.

Anyhoo, I worked today, I came home and for some reason again I immediately went down to the bathroom cupboard again and found a empty water bottle filled with whisky and diet coke, about ready to blow I walked out to the garage with it and told hubby we needed to talk and showed him the bottle. As I expected the first thing out of his mouth was to tell me that I have been neglecting him (typical alcoholic response, blame other’s), so I walked out of the garage and went to AA. It was extremely emotional, I broke down at the meeting, pretty much held back tears through out the entire meeting. I met a woman there tonight and she kind of drew herself to me and was rubbing my arm to assure me it was ok (even thought she didn’t know what was wrong). We exchanged phone numbers which was nice.

I am sick of crying, I feel so sick to my stomach. Knowing what I know from treatment I do get it from his point of view (the drinking), but at the same time I have to put my sobriety first. Sounds selfish, but it’s what I have to do. I am exhausted emotionally and physically so I am going to bed.

Gratitude:

Honestly, right now AA and my children…Just hasn’t been a good day.

1/29/2010, Do I need Al-Anon?

Today started out FANTASTIC, I was in the best mood, full of positive energy. Work went very well, I actually enjoyed every moment of if and you could tell that the Residents noticed my energy also. It was just a great morning/afternoon.


Around 5:00pm tonight I went into the downstairs bathroom and for some reason I looked in the cabinet and found a plastic McDonalds cup with Whiskey and diet coke in it along with a cup that smelled like it also. Not knowing what to do I just sat the cups on the counter so my Husband would know that I found it. Damn it! I am so upset, we had an agreement before I came home that there would be no liquor in the house and on the property and he would not be drinking in the house. When I smelt the glass it triggered me, I sat there and thought “well if he’s drinking and hiding it so can I” (the wonderful “slick” talking in my head). I am so upset that he brought liquor in the house and that he hiding it also. It makes me feel like he is not supportive of my sobriety. To top it off I also found a bottle in his car. I’ve only been home for 3 weeks and he does this, I am so frustrated I don’t even know what to do.

Well on a happier note I had my 30 medallion ceremony tonight (it’s actually been more then 30 days, but they do the ceremonies and the end of each month). It went really well, we had two speakers and tons of food. I didn’t say much when I got mine because I get completely scared in front of a large group of people…lol. A lot of people brought family and friends and it was nice to see that they had support. Unfortunately I didn’t have anyone there for me other then the AA members. I was kind of having a pity party about it, with what happened earlier with hubby and no one at the ceremony it just really made me sad. I didn’t know you could bring people so in fairness I can’t be mad at hubby for not being there. Well I am going to try and deal with all these negative feelings and get a goodnights sleep.

Gratitude:

The residents @ work.

The fellowship

My children

God

1/24/2010, In Laws, who would've known...

Today was a pretty uneventful day. I managed to get some cleaning and baking done. I spoke with hubby’s sister today and we had a really good conversation. She seems to understand that it bugs me that he goes and drinks (which I guess is ok as long as no liquor or drinking is being done in the house like we agreed when I was in treatment). it was just nice to have some support from her. We will be meeting for lunch feb. 6th with my Mother in Law also, so that should be interesting since I haven’t seen either of them since way before treatment.


Went to AA tonight, but it was kind of funny because no one showed up except myself and 2 guys (the Vikings were playing). Oh well, it was at least nice to get out of the house. Going to try something new with my journaling and voice my gratitude’s, not really sure what I am doing but thought I would give it a try.

Gratitude:
For my family

Friendly cashier @ kwick trip

My AA meetings & peers

1/20/2010, Back to work

Just got home from AA,, it was an ok meeting, despite how boring some of them can be (the people). I try to take something out of each meeting. I might have a sponsor too, she gave me her number so I might call her and see if she wants to go have coffee or something. We’ll see.


Today was my first day back to work. I was glad to get back. The more I think of it the more I am leaning towards getting a different job working in the “activities” department, I would really prefer the one on one time that you get. Something to look into down the road.

Tomorrow I have out patient and am waiting for a phone call from work to see if they are going to fix my schedule (they have me working day’s I am not suppose to be on the schedule). Shouldn’t be a problem though.

1/18/2010, Mother daughter Bonding

Not to exciting of a day, I was suppose to have my first IOP meeting (intensive outpatient) but my 11 yr. old wasn’t feeling well and didn’t go to School, so I stayed home with her. Most of my day consisted of clipping coupons and looking for deals on the web. I think this is my new addiction..lol, turns out I really get a kick out of getting something almost for free, I am thinking about starting a separate blog just for that, ya never know. The day could’ve been more productive but my frame of mind just wasn’t there.


I forgot to journal the other day (Jan 16th) My oldest daughter and I spent the day together. I have so much guilt and shame when it comes to my children, but with her it’s really hard I just don’t feel like I know her anymore. While I was drinking I really didn’t enforce any major rules other than be home before dark and I always had to know where she was. She’s always been a great kid and has never gotten in trouble so I do have trust in her. She’s a typical 14 yr. old, but for me her appearance has change so dramatically over the last year, she went from the little preppy looking kid to a gothic/emo looking, even her music has changed and whats really strange about it, she still has all the same friends from grade School and none of them dress like her, I just keep telling myself that she is discovering who she is. Any way’s back to our day together, it was great! we went shopping at a few stores, walked around the mall and had lunch, I really enjoyed the one on one time with her. Hope to do it again soon. Getting tired so I am off to bed.

1/17/2010, Boring days bring urges

Today was a hard day. My 11 yr. old daughter had a friend stay the night and I ended up staying home all day. With a long boring day I guess I should’ve saw the urge to drink happen. No, I didn’t drink, but I thought about it a few times. I ended up clipping a ton of coupons and cleaned for a bit. Seemed to help some.


I just came back from an AA meeting and it went great, I really needed a meeting to re-set my cravings and boy it did, I feel completely re-charged. The group suggested I attend the Wednesday meeting because there are actually woman there (Sunday’s it’s all men, but they welcome me). One of the guys also said that he would talk to a few of the Woman to make sure they attend on Wednesday, hoping I will be able to find a sponsor then. Well enough of my non productive day I am off to watch desperate housewife’s (haven’t seen it since before treatment).

1/14/2010, Sobor Communication?

Today started off good. I ran some errands, spent way to much money grocery shopping, but at least we have food now. Before shopping I cleaned out the pantry and can’t believe how much food I had to throw away, what a waste. Among that I finished the bathroom, hung the new shower curtain (which I have to say looks really nice and modern. I unclogged a sink and scrubbed the floors. There is more cleaning to do, but I am done for now.


Hubby and I are slowly starting to communicate better since I’ve been back. I don’t know how to explained it but we have always had an “intoxicated” relationship, we have both pretty much drank since we met. I don’t have much of a choice now other than to communicate “sober”, it’s a whole new way of life, scary but that’s how it has to be. It is just weird now and I am hoping that hubby can understand from my point of view how different things are for me, I know it’s not always going to feel this way, I am just in a fluster right now.

I talked to one of the girls from treatment tonight and unfortunately she is having some pretty big problems and I really hope she can pull through everything. So she will be in my thought’s and prayers…Well off to bed.

1/13/2010, busy cleaning

I didn’t get a whole bunch done this morning. Woke up @ 6am with horrible cramps and decided just to stay up till the kids get off to School. I went back to bed and shocked myself by sleeping till 11am, I must’ve needed to the sleep..lol. I did manage to get some cleaning done. I re-arranged the living room (had to make it different than what I was use to, sitting in the same spot where I use to drink didn’t seem like a good idea). I also got the entryway cleaned and now I am painting the bathroom (taking a break to let the first coat dry and watching American Idol).


I decided to skip my AA meeting tonight so I could finish painting even though I know I should’ve gone. Spoke with two of the girls that are still at Hazelden today and was debating if I should meet one of them at the airport when it’s her time to head home, I guess it all depends what’s going on.

I’ve been a little concerned about returning to work due to the fact that we live in a small town and I’m not sure who knows where I went and why. I guess I’ll deal with that if it comes up. Well gonna finish painting.

1/12/2010, Adjusting to home life

I haven’t written in awhile, it’s been four days since I got home and for the most part things have been ok. The first day was really awkward, I really didn’t know what to do. I had my 1st AA meeting on Sunday. I walked in the room and it was 7 men and just me, felt weird but all in all it went well.

Today I met one of the woman I met in treatment at the airport (she was going home from Hazelden). It was nice to see her, it almost felt like I was back in treatment (which I call now my “bubble” my safe zone). We sat and talked for about an hour before her flight left, it was sad to say goodbye, but I have a very strong feeling that we will remain friends and talk frequently. Also today my old Roommate from there called me today. It was awesome to have talked with two of the girls there, it made my day.

I had my intake for my IOP (intensive out patient) today. I’m really looking forward to doing the program. I’ve only had a couple urges to drink since being home, but I have been trying to keep myself really busy with crafts etc to keep my mind off it, so far seems to be helping. Well I am going to end this good day and get to bed.

Jan 2-9th, 2010...Goodbye Hazelden

Well I have very busy this week. I leave today and I am very excited and scared at the same time. Not really sure what to do, I know I am going to miss A LOT of the woman I have met here, some of them I have bonded with very strongly and hope to keep in contact with them for a long time. Man I have so many thoughts running through my head I can’t even think. I have to go out and get my car (hoping it’ll start since it’s been sitting out there for the last 28 days).

Here are some of my favorite “sayings” I heard this week at lecture’s :

My worst day sober is better then my best day drinking.


There’s power in a group


I’m not an alcoholic because life sucked, I’m an alcoholic because I’m an alcoholic.


People are tired of hearing you say your sorry.


Using help when we need it leads to successful life.

…and last but not least…

The Relapse Prayer

No matter what happens today, I won’t relapse.

If I relapse, it will make things worse, not better.

If I don’t relapse, these will pass and I will be free in recovery.

Well GOOD BYE Hazelden and welcome the new journey of my life.

1/2/2010, Pissed, Hurt & Disappointed

Well today really sucked! I feel like I have been climbing up all these steps to get to the other side of recovery. Hubby and the girls visited yesterday and my 11 yr. old informed me that hubby had been drinking (he told me that he quit about 2 weeks ago) and said that he did because it was New Years Eve. Now my 11 yr. old is making excuses for drinking. It just breaks my heart. Right now my emotions are in a big ball of confusion.


I am pissed, hurt and disappointed. Luckily I have been in the family program (it’s when family members of the patients come for a few days and talk with patients, go to lectures etc.. So they can learn and we can learn from each others point of view). Ok, I honestly have to say that because of the family program I have come to the realization that there is nothing I can do about it, that it’s not my problem to solve. At the same time I don’t know what to do if he is still drinking. Is it going to be something that I can handle? How is this going to affect all of us? I just don’t know what to do. I am hoping I have an appointment with my counselor or therapist soon because I really need to talk to someone. UGG

12/31/2009, New Year's Eve in treatment

Been a few days since I’ve written. Well yesterday has been a strange day of emotions. I just have an unsettled feeling. The thought of going home scares me a bit, not knowing what is going to happen. How my relationship with Hubby is going to be like. I just hear something strange in his voice when I talk to him, maybe he is feeling the same, I just don’t know.

I received my after care plan today. I will be going to IOP (Intensive outpatient). Which the counselor would rather have me go to a sober house because of Hubby’s drinking, but I refused to go. The IOP will be for 3 days a week for 7 weeks, then 1 night a week for 5 weeks. So I am going to have to call work to make sure they can go around that schedule.

Tonight we did a medallion ceremony for one of our girls. She is such a fun person to have on the unit and she will be missed. But it will be interesting to see how the dynamics of the group change. Recently there has been some drama between a few girls and it pretty much has been stressing everyone out.

On a happy note, one of the girls here decided to go out and get everyone a stuffed animal, she individually picked one out for each of us based on our personalities etc. She has called them all are "Sobor Buddies", I got a cocker spaniel with cute fuzzy ears which is great because I have been missing my dogs at home. This was such a thoughful thing for her to do, what a way to end 2009 and start 2010 !

During the lectures the last few days I learned:

Not everyone has to like me for me to have value’s.


Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself when I am stuck.


“The one who counts the most is the one staring back at you from the glass”.


Courage- is fear that says a prayer


We can be restored to sanity.

12/25/2009, MERRY CHRISTMAS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!


This should be a happy day but I guess I am having a pity party, I was hoping the hubby and girls would come visit, but the weather is just to bad. It’s hard to see some of the other woman having visitors, but I guess I’ll try and make the best of it. Of course the best gift I am giving myself and my family is by being here.

There really isn’t much staff here today so it’s pretty quiet. Most of the programs today have been canceled, so I have a lot of sitting around time. This morning though at group, two of the younger woman said to me that since I have been here I now have a glow about me, that I look a lot better and I have came out of my shell. It gives me hope that others see this and re-assures me that I am on the right path to my recovery. I am however a little scared for what happens when I get home,, especially if Hubby is still drinking. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I received a phone call from my Uncle tonight, it was a huge surprise. I haven’t talked to him in 5 years or so and my Cousin also called me, it was very nice to hear there support for me.

As far as my recovery goes I feel I am making some progress. I am learning to identify my feelings, though I haven’t mastered it yet I have hope, I just look back over the last 8+ years that I have been so out of touch with who I am and what I want,, along with my feelings. It’s a learning process that I will be working on forever probably. I came here with the thought that it was just about “quitting” drinking, not realizing there was so much work to it,, the: Why you drink, What triggers you, Past problems etc….This is to much work, I didn’t sign up for this…lol

Lecture tonight was great, very uplifting and brought a lot of hope to my recovery.

A few words that stuck with me are:

Hope is recovery, recover is hope.


All the stuff in the past happened “yesterday”, Today is Today.


We don’t always have another “sobering up”.


Change who you use to be.


The day I am most complacent with my disease is the day I am going to use.


Alcoholism is a disease of the mind, body and spirit.


Alcoholism is a family disease.